SOMETIMES ONE MEETING CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
By Ted Stourton
People sometimes ask me how I ended up doing what I do today.
The answer is surprisingly simple.
I met a friend in a coffee shop, we had a conversation, and that conversation changed the direction of my life.
It made me realise something important. Sometimes all it takes is meeting the right person at the right time.
Most of us go through periods when life feels a bit repetitive. We get up, go to work, look after the family, pay the bills and do it all again the next day.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that. But occasionally we find ourselves wondering whether there’s something more we could be doing with our lives.
I believe everyone has what I call a Primary Purpose.
It’s simply the thing that gives your life meaning. The thing you really care about. The reason you get out of bed in the morning.
For one person it might be creating beautiful things. For another, helping people. For someone else, building a business, raising a family or making the world a little better.
And sometimes we don’t discover that purpose on our own.
Sometimes a friend helps us see it.
You might meet a friend in a coffee shop, at work or completely by chance.
You start talking and suddenly something clicks.
You feel interested, excited or inspired in a way you haven’t felt for ages.
That friend hasn’t necessarily given you anything. They may simply have reminded you of something that was already inside you.
And that can make all the difference.
But here’s something else I’ve noticed.
We often lose touch with the very people who have helped us most.
Life gets busy. Weeks turn into months. Before long, that wonderful conversation becomes a distant memory.
I think that’s a shame.
If a friend has encouraged you, inspired you or helped you find your feet, why not keep in touch?
It doesn’t have to be anything complicated.
A quick phone call. A postcard. A friendly email. Even a simple message saying, “I was thinking of you today. Hope you’re well.”
Friendships are a bit like plants. Give them a little attention now and again and they tend to grow.
There’s another part to this idea.
I believe we all have a main purpose in life, but we also have lots of smaller purposes that help us achieve it.
I call these Sub Purposes.
For example, you might feel that your Primary Purpose is to bring happiness to other people.
Your smaller purposes could be being a good parent, helping a neighbour, creating something beautiful, doing your job well or simply making someone smile.
They’re all different ways of working towards the same thing.
And you don’t have to change your whole life to get started.
Imagine someone who works in an office and has become rather bored with life.
One day he meets a woman who paints watercolours. They have a chat, and she encourages him to try painting.
He gives it a go.
Before long he’s painting at weekends, visiting galleries and discovering a whole new side of himself.
His job hasn’t changed. His circumstances haven’t changed very much.
But his life has.
Or imagine a woman who’s spent years working in accounts. She’s good at her job but feels something is missing.
Then she meets someone who’s helping small businesses get started.
Their conversation reminds her how much she enjoys helping people succeed.
She begins mentoring younger colleagues and eventually finds herself doing work she genuinely loves.
Again, it all began with a conversation.
Of course, not every person we meet is going to change our lives.
But every now and then a friend comes along who helps us see things differently.
And I think those people are worth appreciating.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have friends like that in my own life.
Some have become lifelong friends. Others I’ve only known briefly.
But I’m grateful to them all.
So perhaps it’s worth asking yourself a couple of simple questions.
What is it that really makes you happy and gives your life meaning?
And who are the friends who’ve helped you discover it?
If someone comes to mind, perhaps today would be a good day to get in touch.
You never know what might come from it.
After all, a simple conversation with a friend in a coffee shop changed my life.
Perhaps one could change yours.
Best wishes,
Ted